In the morning, the alarm clock rings loudly. A quick leap out of bed, a rush to get dressed, a sip of strong coffee, and off to work. At work, there is this and that to do: solving problems, remembering things, organizing, and rushing about. After work, it’s off to the store and then home to tackle household chores and wonder if anything was left undone for tomorrow’s work. Before you know it, evening has arrived – bringing fatigue, mindless scrolling on your phone, and bedtime. Only to start it all over again in the morning. Does this life sound familiar?
At some point, this kind of existence can turn into a cycle where your days are packed with activities, yet you are barely present in them. You are constantly doing something, but when do you truly become the protagonist of your own life?
We have become very skilled at getting things done
We know how to organize, plan, remember, care for others, take responsibility, solve problems, and rush about. We have calendars, lists, reminders, and apps that help us accomplish even more. But who or what helps us simply be? We were never taught that. We were taught how to be capable, how to cope, how to fulfill our obligations, how to be useful, and how not to disappoint anyone.
We were not taught how to find joy in an ordinary day, how to simply sit and gaze at something beautiful, or how to do something purely because it brings us happiness.
When did life become a verb?
We often speak of our lives in terms of activities. I work. I raise children. I exercise. I focus on self-development. I still have to get this done. But activities are not the sum total of who you are. There is also that part of you that watches the sunset, listens to music, walks slowly, laughs, and dreams. The part that simply sits by the sea or in the forest, doing nothing at all. That part may not be productive, but it is alive.
We often say, I don’t have time. But perhaps the real question is how we use our time. We find time for everything we deem necessary – except for ourselves. If you wait until everything is done before you start living, you might find yourself waiting forever.
Who said you have to earn the right to rest?
There seems to be an unwritten rule that you must finish everything first before you can finally rest. But the tasks never end. And so, rest and joy keep getting postponed. Once this project is done, then… Once the house is tidy, then… Once the kids grow up, then… Once I have more money, then… Once I finally have time, then…
But life isn’t the final line on a to-do list; life is happening right now.
Where are you in this day?
If you strip away all your roles – employee, mother or father, spouse, daughter or son, caregiver, organizer, professional – then who remains? When was the last evening you spent doing nothing useful? When did you ask yourself, What do I want right now? and actually listen for the answer?
We can spend our whole lives doing things. But at some point, we might ask: Am I living, or simply managing my life? They aren’t quite the same thing. Living also means experiencing, noticing, laughing, creating, resting, loving, playing, and simply being in silence.
And not everything of value in life has to yield a tangible result. Some things can simply be beautiful. Some moments can simply be good. Some days can be simply for living. Life shouldn’t just be a to-do list. Your life should also be a place where you feel good.
How much of today was taken up by things you had to do – and how much of it was about you?
